Musings of a redhead.
Since I couldn’t quite let myself chop all my hair off and dye it magenta so I’d look like a pixie, I did the next best thing….red highlights. Yep, I’m red. Pics coming soon.
I did this once in college when I was first feeling the need to express who I felt I was inside. I got a few friends to do it with me. I went strawberry blonde, one of those 21-day rinse out jobs….and it lasted 6 months. My grandmother mistook me for my mother’s first cousin Ann. It was an interesting experience.
This time I didn’t do the full-blown job. I didn’t really want my whole head to be red. Just some streaks that I thought said “hey, I’m in here somewhere.” I wanted to take an entire chunk and dye it bright bright magenta, but deep down I didn’t want to draw that kind of attention to myself.
Part of the 4 in me always screams out for attention, but when I get it, I don’t want it. My friend hit the nail on the head tonight when she said the reason I don’t want to draw attention to myself is because I don’t like the way I look. It’s true. I’m still fat, I’m still insecure, yet I yearn for people to take notice of my unique-ness. It’s weird. Pay attention to me leave me alone.
Does that make me emo? Maybe I should have dyed my hair magenta with a big black streak in it instead… 
August 11th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
4dom abounds.
August 12th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Yeah….4-dom is a bitch sometimes. But, I don’t think I’d want to be any other personality type…not that I have a choice
Maybe I’m just learning to accept and even rejoice in who God made me, despite the roller coaster.