Little Birdie

Belly, I have let you roam again
To Biscuitville, that evil villain.
It tastes so good, and feels so bad.
But it’s the best darn biscuit I ever had–

aside from grandma’s.

———-

Belly, you poke over my pants.
You assert your authority better than fire ants.
How can my mind be ruled by you?
How can my will be so consumed?
You are not so insurmountable,
But by myself, I’m incapable.

———–

Will I sit by and let the scale creep up?
Or will I let the Lord fill my cup?
Must my sides jut out like this?
Or will I rule with an iron fist?
Rolls of fat, be gone with you!
To Thy Word I must be true.
God, please come and rescue me.
From temptation I will flee.

In one end
and out the other
My tummy rebels
My guts run for cover.

Viva la spices
Regurgitate flavor
Viva tortilla chips
Heartburn is thy favre.

Why do I do this?
The answer is pure.
Te amo burrito
Rolaids is the cure.

There once was a 2X belly
That shook like a bowl full of jelly
But now there’s less there
And I’m walking on air
As I snack on fat-free turkey from the deli.

Belly, you have faded once again
Into the background of my life.
You tried to steal the stage,
And the crumbs…
And the sauce…
But the floor
And the keyboard
Serve as my food catcher once again.

I shoulda changed that stupid lock.

I shoulda made you leave your key.

Belly, you seem to be sneaking your way back into my life. A fry here, a cookie there…now I’m three or four pounds heavier than I was a month ago.

Maybe my boobs are conspiring against me. They liked their resting place and they got tired of supporting themselves.

Well, too bad boobs. Get a job. It’s time to evacuate the free space that existed a half inch in front of me just four weeks ago.

Oh Belly of mine, how you have grown.
Through thick and thicker you have been there.
You have stayed close to me even as you protrude
farther out into the wide, wide world.

Now as I look down…at my toes
My heart is filled with so much woe
How could you leave me oh Belly?
Yet as I come to grips with this loss
I feel…lighter, somehow.

So as you depart from my life
I will remember the couch we shared.
All the fat, all the sugar
Disappears as I drink more water.

So long, sucka!!