If you’re wondering where I’ve been the last month or so, I started a new job on June 2nd. Check it out–I have a title and everything.
It’s been a big change, and change is hard. I am the type to give myself to whatever I’m involved in (after I accept the change, anyway). Seven years at my first job out of college is a sizable emotional investment.
(more…)
My husband and I own rental properties. It’s been quite an adventure–fun at times; other times…not so much.
Take yesterday for example. I get a frantic call from a tenant: “Hey Miss Kathy, is there something wrong with our well pump or something?”
Oh. Man. Take it from me; as a landlord, you NEVER want to get that call. In the words of Short Round, “hang on lady, we going for a ride.”
The result? 245 feet of pipe, $300 worth of well pump, 10 hours, and 5 very, very wet people.
I took some time off from work and other responsibilities last week, including blogging. I wouldn’t exactly call it a vacation though. I’ve been so twisted up inside, I was never really able to unwind, and then the week was over. I was reminded on Wednesday, after my mind shut up for long enough, that I am God’s girl and not anyone or anything else’s. So whatever job God has me doing, wherever He has me serving, I am ultimately serving Him and His purpose. The only approval I should need is from Him. It’s hard to remember that when I’m in the trenches, but a good twice daily dose of the Truth helps keep my mind in line. So, here I am again.
Also, my dad had to get a heart catheterization on Friday, so that was pretty stressful. What we found out was perplexing, and something only God could have done. He is 100% blocked in two places, and a third place looks suspicious. Stents were out of the question because of the locations and amount of blockage. However, God had made His own little “natural bypasses” around the blockages. The doctors said this was very rare but not unheard of. If this had not happened, Dad would have probably had a heart attack long ago. The prognosis is “wait and see.” Whatever that means. My belief is that God will continue to construct His own bypasses so that 100% of the bloodflow is restored and my dad becomes pain-free. Or, that God will just make those freaking blockages disappear altogether. That’d be pretty awesome.
I was sitting with one of my best friends, musing about how we’ll all be celebrating our 7th anniversaries in 2008, and it struck me that my marriage has just been getting better every year. We’re committed to each other, and we’ve found out that we really meant it when we said “I do.”
One of the many things marriage has taught me is that the definition of “intimacy” extends waaay beyond sex. Actually, being intimate with my husband means knowing every little detail about him, getting to the point of anticipating his thoughts and actions, and learning his routines.
However, one thing that I wish we knew less about each other is our…ahem…bodily functions. And believe, me, even with only two of us in the house, we have a surprisingly large, umm, quantity of them. There’s probably a direct correlation between that and the amount of Mexican food we eat.
I took the liberty of creating a graphical depiction of our conversation topics, and it looks something like this:
As you can see, discussion of sex rates even below finances and household activities. But to be honest, sex doesn’t usually require a whole lot of conversation. You would think that going to the bathroom wouldn’t, either, but there you are. It’s WAY more exciting to talk about the fact that the Chinese food I ate is now out of my body 2 hours later, than to talk about, say, doing the dishes, or how Martin Luther revolutionized Christianity.
I just can’t wait until we have a child. Think about all the poo we’ll be discussing THEN! 
After much consideration, I have decided to withdraw my membership from one of the largest weight-loss megacenters in the industry. I personally think that Weight Watchers is the best way to re-learn (or for many people, learn for the first time) proper nutrition, portion control, exercise, and developing a healthy lifestyle. I am far from perfecting the healthy lifestyle thing, and I am far from my “goal weight.” However, I feel that I have learned the basics, and I can implement them on a daily basis without paying $40 a month to go step on a scale.
I believe that we all need support. I believe the statistics that people who go to meetings lose more weight and keep it off longer. I had almost convinced myself that I would be willing to pay $40 a month for the rest of my life so I would have that community. But the truth is, that’s not really the community I need any more. I need people who believe, and can say in public, that God is sovereign, that he can and has already delivered us from our infirmities, and there is hope in Jesus. I have that community through my local church and to a much larger extent, the entire Body of Christ. I also have a great cloud of witnesses rooting me on.
I believe God cares about weight loss, because he cares for me and all his kids, and being overweight is causing lots of physical and emotional problems. Not to mention I am not treating my body the way I should, knowing that it is a temple and the Holy Spirit lives there.
I know I am not alone. It’s up to me to find the support I need. And it’s up to me to renew my mind daily and not focus on myself so much that weight loss becomes the end all and be all of my existence. The truth is, the more I obsess over it, the worse off I am. When I just focus on my daily routine, which includes eating healthy and exercising, I’m okay.
I’m learning that healthy living is hard work. You have to do pay attention to it. It’s more than eating. It’s taking care of your household. Keeping up with your finances. Developing healthy relationships. Keeping short accounts with God, and worshiping him in all things.
So even though it’s a little scary letting go of my security blanket, I think I’m ready.
You Are 75% Burned Out |
 You are very burned out.You need a huge break from your responsibilities, starting as soon as possible. And you need this time to reevaluate what you really want out of your life. Because you’re working hard and going no where… and that would burn anyone out! |
There are many, many days that I wish I weren’t such a slave to my emotions. It’s hard to concentrate when my soul is so twisted up. On the way to work this morning, I started crying for no reason. Last night I was so irritable I could hardly stand myself. I’m unwilling to blame hormones because I think they get a bad rap.
Actually I do know what’s wrong. It’s this sense that I haven’t accomplished anything, and a hopelessness that I won’t ever accomplish anything noteworthy in my life.
Hopelessness seems to be a running theme in my life lately. I know it’s a lie but it’s damn hard to overcome. It’s like a gray shroud over my house. I can see through it but not clearly.
Wow, am I a walking commercial for the Duke depression study or what? “Do you overeat or have no appetite? Do you sleep too much or have insomnia? You may qualify to take sugar pills and live under a microscope for 6-8 weeks!”
And what is it about me that I like listening to hard rock when I’m mad at the world? It only feeds my attitude.
It’s a good thing the weather isn’t dependent on my mood. Although that would be cool, because then I’d be an X-file come true…you know the one where the weather man had this unconscious effect on the weather, and it was all because he had this huge unrequited love going for this chick who kept falling into bad relationships. At the end Mulder and Scully convinced both of them that they belonged together, and everyone lived happily ever after. Except Mulder and Scully, of course, because they thrive on suffering.
And now a haiku to lighten my mood:
Leaky light blue eyes
Don’t fret, there is hope for you–
Choc’late cures all ills.