Little Birdie

The Lord has uncovered a little more of my stupid pride. I have been asking God and wondering why it is I’m so unmotivated to practice my music. Today I learned that there are at least two reasons.

First, I continually struggle with always wanting to be in the spotlight, always wanting the attention for myself. Since I know that’s wrong, I’d rather not pick up my guitar at all. That way I’ll never be good enough to become a big star. I don’t want to be complimented because it swells my ego too much. I can’t take compliments because I know in my heart I hold them too dear and I don’t cast my crowns before the Lord. That particular problem extends to all areas in my life.

The second reason kind of stems from that. I know I can’t be the best on the planet, so I don’t want to work at being the best I can be. That’s perfectionism and it’s also wrong.

Both reasons stem from pride. God I hate it. But I know that I can be delivered. In my spirit, I want to excel at music so I can worship God. In my heart, I want to others to worship ME. But should I continue to shun my musical ability that God put in me because I am afraid that my pride will taint it? Or should I press through, pick up my music, and war against myself that way? If I can continually have the truth in my face, that God GAVE me this talent, that it has nothing to do with me, and He put it in me for HIS purpose, maybe I’ll be able to pick up my music again.

Bethel’s worship team is going through the book “Exploring the Mysteries of Worship” by LaMar Boschman. I confess I haven’t been all that faithful keeping up with the reading, but the discussions are always thought-provoking.

We got into a couple of things last night that I have continued to wrestle with this morning: the definition of “the anointing,” and the act of entering the King’s gates and going further into his courts.

Mr. Boschman defined “anointed” as the tender heart that results from being in the presence of God. He presented a forumulaic definition of the anointing as what people see when we fast, pray, and repent.

The worship team pretty much decided that Mr. Boschman’s definition was incorrect, or at least incomplete. I did some more research on this and have made the following obersvations:

1. Dictionary definition: Mr. Webster defines “anointed” as consecrated, set apart as by divine intervention, dedicated to the service of God. It also means to smear with any liquid. I like that
2. The anointing is given sovereignly by God. It is completely external and has nothing to do with us. There are numerous references in the Old Testament indicating that God anointed this person or that person as king, or priest, or captain of an army. He anointed David to rule. He even anointed Jehu to destroy the house of Ahab. The anointing is often symbolized by oil, and it is put on a person by another person. I couldn’t find anywhere that fasting and praying resulted in oil coming out of somebody’s face from the inside.
3. When you accept Christ, you are automatically anointed to (1) make disciples, and (2) fulfill the command to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. These are supernatural commands, but the anointing is also supernatural and gives us the ability to do such things. Just as the anointing in the Old Testament consecrated priests and kings to rule, that same anointing enables us to fulfill God’s commands.
4. God protects his anointed. The psalms are rife with examples of the favor, blessing, and protection afforded to the Lord’s anointed ones.
5. God allows us to move in the anointing even when we are in sin. We can quench the Spirit, and we can harm ourselves when we sin. But as we discussed last night, the gifts are without repentance. God can, and has, anointed my own actions to His glory even when I am in sin. A biblical example of this is the story of David. God’s anointing over his life still held even when he had an adulterous affair and sent the woman’s husband off to be killed.

Our worship leader asked an important follow-up question about the anointing: Is it appropriate to ask for a fresh anointing, a new anointing? After all, the same anointing from the same Almighty God is available today just as it was yesterday.

I think there are two parts to the answer. First, the anointing itself isn’t “new,” but we might need a “renewed” anointing every day. The Bible encourages us to renew our minds continually with the Word of God. If we ask for a fresh anointing, it’s because we ourselves have been consumed by life’s issues and feel dry.

The second part of the answer is, there are times when that anointing enables us by the Holy Spirit to do miraculous works, lead people into a deeper place of worship, etc. It is those times that when we ask for a fresh anointing, we are really asking for God to show up in power and heal, make His glory known, and manifest His presence (which, by the way, was another topic of discussion in the book).

Well, I think I just opened up more questions in my own mind than answering anything, but it helps to write about it. Second topic, entering His praise with thanksgiving, coming up next.

I just wanted to make a quick observation here. Singing songs to the Lord has a MUCH greater impact when you know the Bible. Maybe it doesn’t have an impact on God, but it certainly does on me.

Example. I’m reading I John for my devotional (I know, can you believe I’m having devotional time now?!? I’m pretty psyched) and it’s chock full of how Christians are different because we live a life of love. The flip side: if we don’t live a life of love, we should seriously examine the status of our salvation. But that’s for another post.

So, I was listening to Amy Grant (first time in a LOOONG time), and one of the lyrics just stopped me in my tracks: “They’ll know we are Christians by our love.”

I’ve heard this song a million times. I’ve sung along. I’ve led worship with it.

I’ve had no idea what I was talking about.

A man does not live on worship music alone, but on every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. That Jesus guy really knew what he was talking about.

I am waiting in the sanctuary for your anointing
The red carpet is rolled out
The trumpets are calling
The choirs are singing
The dancers are dancing.

Furiously I war on my drum,
Searching and waiting for you to come.
I will not move until I hear from you.
I will not speak until I am spoken to.
You give me dreams I know not of.
The desires I have reflect your love.

I throw out my arms to embrace you.
I throw off the hindrances I hold on to.
There’s no one here but you and me,
Yet I look around and see family.
We are fellowshipping in your wonderful embrace-
Finally, I feel I can run this race.

I wrote this in response to my worship experience this morning–which was really a culmination of the past week. It’s a pretty pathetic depiction of what I was actually feeling, but I’m giving myself a break because I don’t write poetry.

God’s been doing some pretty hefty stuff in my life lately, but it’s been coming on slowly. Usually when I’m dealing with something, it turns into this big emotional drama, but somehow it was different this time. It was sweeter somehow. Don’t get me wrong, there was still drama, but it was short-lived. And the result was me simply falling more in love with Jesus. How cool is that?

Now, go check out Kelanie Gloeckler’s CD “Bending to hear the secrets you breathe.” It had me on the floor.

Ephesians 6

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, …

Lord, thank you for the truth of Your word and Your promises, which girds me up in the core of my body and holds my armor together.

… with the breastplate of righteousness in place, …

Lord, thank you for your righteousness that has replaced my sinfulness. Thank you for the protection it offers my heart. Thank you for the blood you spilled and your life that you gave so that I could be held blameless before the Father.

15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

Lord, thank you for the gospel, which is a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet. Thank you for the path it makes for me, and the protection it affords me as I learn to walk in your ways.

16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Lord, I believe in your word. I believe in your promises. Thank you for the seed of faith in my heart that first led me to the gospel, and that now deflects and destroys the attacks of the enemy. I believe that You have overcome the world. I believe in the things of the spirit, that are not seen in this world. My faith is the evidence of those things and it deflects any doubt of victory.

17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Lord, thank you for the helmet of hope and salvation, which protects my mind and thoughts from the evil one. I bind every thought, motive, idea, and feeling to you, the one true God, to Jesus who sits on the right and of God. Lord, fill me up with hope and the knowledge of the power of salvation. Thank you for the word of God that cuts through all the deceitfulness and doubt that the enemy tries to throw against me. Thank you for the truth it wields. Teach me how to use the word of God to thwart the enemy. Increase my capacity to memorize scripture. Lord, grow the desire already in me to bask and soak in your word daily.

18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Lord, I thank you that you are the one who holds all things together, who makes all things to work together in unity and one accord. I pray for the saints, that we will always be fully clothed in the armor of God, that we will walk in your love always, that we will be so filled up with the gospel of peace, and your love, that we will be able to minister with ease, and the enemy will not stand a chance.

All praise, honor and glory to your name O God, who is closer than skin, Lily of the Valley, bright morning star, and mighty to save. Amen.