Little Birdie

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I have writer’s block. I have no less than 8 working drafts sitting in my queue, ready to be edited and published, all on very valid topics from the federal government to stewardship, and here I sit, not a coherent thought in my mind.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been going through life at an unusually fast pace over the last few weeks (months?!?), even for me. We have new side projects going on at home, I’ve been swamped at work and church…the excuses are endless.

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Ever just wake up one morning in a bad mood? No apparent reason, just…grouchy. My husband would call it pissing in your own cornflakes. How poetic.

Well, it’s one of those days. With my personality though, it’s dangerous because I start to analyze why I feel the way I do, and I either blame myself or someone else, and get more depressed. It becomes a vicious cycle. Soon I’ll start feeling like I deserve to have the problems I have, that it’s my fault my life isn’t perfect, and I can’t do anything about it.

Isn’t it nice how I know in my mind how I will react to things, yet I seem helpless under my own willpower to jerk myself out of it?

The only thing that can interrupt the cycle is the Word. Did you know that there are 102 verses in the Bible dealing with deliverance? Psalm 18:2 says “The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” The Lord himself brings deliverance to those who take refuge in him.

Now I just have to remember to do that.

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I’m a big fan of discovering more about myself and my loved ones (or even barely-known acquaintances, for that matter). I take personality tests all the time and highly encourage everyone I know to do the same.

The most recent test I took can be found here: it’s an inkblot test. I’ve never taken one before, but it’s pretty interesting.
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Good thing we’re in this for the long haul….right?

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God help the next person that wants to meet me somewhere in Cary, NC.

Now, I don’t often say this, being a woman myself–but clearly, a woman designed Cary’s road system.

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So, I’ve been a Christian since I was a little girl. Asked Jesus into my heart at my parent’s bedside when I was about 7 years old. Grew up in the church. Schooled in the Bible. And yet, I had never fully realized the implications of serving a living God. Not dead. Not used-to-be-alive, floating around on some cloud wearing a halo. Not a state of mind. ALIVE. Like me. Except way better, because it is only through Him that I have life at all

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God’s been doing some great stuff in my spiritual life. Here’s a little progression:

Step 1. I find out I’m terrified of dying, because I fear God’s judgment even though I’m saved.
Step 2. I ask God why I’m terrified of this, and he points me to a book I read when I was a very immature Christian. The book left me with the wrong impression that I can still somehow be kept from God’s full glory even when I’m in heaven unless I do lots of great things. Like a point system. Or the NASCAR poll position.
Step 3. God delivers me from fear of judgment.
Side Effects: I now can tell people about Jesus and really believe that heaven is a wonderful thing.

And:

Step 1. I find out I’m terrified of teaching even though I love kids.
Step 2. I ask God why I’m terrified, and he points to several times in my life where I myself or my authority has been rejected or belittled.
Step 3. God delivers me from fear of teaching.
Side Effects: Coming to believe that maybe I am called to teach. So, today I mailed in my stuff to teach.

Psalm 34:4 works.

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In order to maximize your Disney World experience as an adult, I recommend the following five items to have with you at all times:
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That’s all. I need Jesus. It’s that simple. The more needy I am toward him, the more He will come out of me.

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I had a dream last night that really shook me up. In the dream, I had died. I don’t remember now how it happened. In order to get to whatever afterlife awaited me, I had to board this Disney-like ride that would carry me away in a little rail car. Talk about Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

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